I run into Mark in the Cap’n Kidd.
I believe I have to die, I say to Mark. We’re drinking Bud long necks at the bar.
We all have to die, Mark answers.
Of course but that’s not what I mean.
What do you mean?
It feels like I have to die in order to live. I say this to you and I’m not sure what it means. But everywhere I look I see my death.
Yet here you stand.
Only because I’m afraid to face it.
Aren’t you facing it now?
No. I always run away just before it happens.
Maybe it’s just your ego.
That has to die.
Ego death. Maybe that’s what you’re facing — the dissolution of your ego identity.
I don’t know what that means. If that happens I’ll go crazy.
Maybe you’re already crazy. Maybe it’s the way out.
Out of what?
Whatever it is you’re asking me about.